549. IF LOVE..

IF LOVE IS JUST A WAY TO SAY HELLO AND GOODBYE TO STRANGERS, A WAY TO SHAKE HANDS, AND SAY "HOW ARE YOU?", PRETENDING YOU MAY BE HER BEST FRIEND, THOUGH YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HER NAME, IF LOVE IS THAT KIND OF A THING, I'M A MAN WITH KNIVES INSTEAD OF FINGERS, TRYING TO TELL PEOPLE I'M NOT THAT DANGEROUS, I MAY NOT EVEN SLIT YOU APART, I'M JUST A LITTLE BOY SORRY FOR WHO I AM, AND I WAS BORN THIS WAY, IT'S NOT MY FAULT! IT'S NOT WHAT I WANTED TO BE; I’M JUST A LITTLE BOY WHO ONCE TRIED TO SLIT MY HEART APART; BUT HEY, THAT WAS YESTERDAY, AND TODAY I AM AS YOUNG AS EVER BEFORE, AND I JUST WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND AND WALK THE BOULEVARD OF BROKEN CUPS, THE BOULEVARD OF ME AND YOU; I JUST WANT TO TURN OF THE STREET LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE NEON SIGNS, AND SAY; I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, AND I HAVE NEVER FELT LIKE THIS BEFORE, IN THE SILENCE OF A POURING OCTOBER RAIN; I LOVE YOU; I WANT TO GROW OLD WITH YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE, WHAT’S YOUR NAME?

IF LOVE IS JUST A FRAGILE SMILE, I’M THE ONE WHO LAUGHS MANIACALLY, LIKE IF I WAS IN THE MOOD TO CONQUER THE WORLD, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, BUT THAT’S NOT ME, I MAY EVEN GO INSANE, BEFORE THAT MANSION ON THE HILL, BUT THAT’S NOT ME, I JUST DON’T KNOW HOW TO SMILE, LIKE IF THE WORLD HAD ALREADY CONQUERED ME, AND NOW I’M LAYING HERE, ON THE DIRTY FLOOR OF A BASEMENT APARTMENT, SEARCHING DESPERATELY AFTER SOMEONE WHO CAN, SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO LAY DOWN BESIDE ME, AND IN THE DARKNESS, WE CAN SEE THE SUN RISE FOR ANOTHER LIFE, IN ANOTHER WORLD, PRETENDING THAT WE DON’T KNOW THE REASONS TO WHY WE ARE HERE, PRETENDING, THAT IT WASN’T REALLY OUR FAULTS.

IF LOVE IS THE SILENCE, I AM A BIG, BUZZING MOTORBOAT. AND ALL I TRYING TO DO IS MAKE OTHER PEOPLE SEE, I’M DOING EVERYTHING IN MY WAY, TO TURN THE MOTOR OFF.

IF LOVE IS JUST ANOTHER ROUND OF TEXAS HOLD’EM, I’M THE MAN WHO GOES ALL IN WITH TWO SAD DAMES IN MY HAND, AND IN THE HORIZON, I CAN SEE A KING TELLING THE REST OF THE KINGS, TO COME DOWN TO MY TABLE AND BEAT ME UP! TO FUCK ME, VERY HARD. AND I CAN SEE THEIR SILHOUETTES AS THEY TURN AROUND TO LOOK AT ME. AND THEN I LOOSE, AND THE PEOPLE AROUND THE TABLE, LOOKS AT ME WITH DESPAIRING EYES OF AN MOTHER AND THEY THINK I’M READY TO DIE; THEY THINK THAT I’M READY TO FALL, AND I STAND UP, AND WALK AWAY FROM THE TABLE, OUT OF THE ROOM, AND THE ONLY THING I CAN SAY IS: WHY, WHY, WHY, IS THIS ALWAYS HAPPENING TO ME?